A friend on Facebook recently posted the following image:
Although the message is humorous and one that is sure to be liberally passed around to friends, family members, and office colleagues alike, there is a lot of truth behind it.
There are people in our lives–whether intimates or casual acquaintances–who are haters. For whatever reason they choose to focus on the differences rather than the similarities. They prefer to hoard offenses, point out deficiencies, and recall failures.
Who knows why? More importantly, who cares?
There are individuals who revel in generating poison and being bossy, and no amount of your trying to clean up their outlook or reset their attitude or change their point of view is going to have lasting effect.
Good News: Your job is not to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.
Think about it for a second. What are you trying to win them over to? Your point of view? Your ideas? Your ideal? And while certain things may work fabulously for you, obviously it is not the philosophy they have chosen for their own life.
Who’s to say you are exactly right and the other person is so wrong anyway? Frankly, your consistent nagging and criticizing and quarreling (trying to win them over) creates a strong argument for your being labeled a hater. >Ouch<
How about a little more kindness and flexibility in your approach? Why not give the other person the benefit of the doubt now and again?
What would happen if you would agree to disagree (without serving up a side dish of malice)? What would it take for you to find some common ground to build upon?
Remember, “the ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands” (unknown).
Whatever you are, don’t be a hater (or a jerk whisperer),
Deanna
Nice article Deanna! I agree wholeheartedly and have learned to distance myself from haters. They wear me out.
Isn’t that the truth? Hate is exhausting! Great to hear from you! 🙂 D
[…] try to win over the haters. You are not the jerk whisperer.” (Another good blog on this here.) So that’s where I draw the line on creating culture—be the influence, but be OK with the fact […]