I Insist!

Desire has a lot to do with it, but so do you.

You have to persevere, you have to insist.”

~Andrea Bocelli

While flipping through the pages of the latest edition of Success magazine, I read that Alexander Graham Bell made the first long-distance call from New York to Chicago in 1892.

What caught my eye, however, was that sixteen years earlier the 29-year-old scientist had received a patent for the telephone. (Yes, read that again — 16 years earlier!) But it took years of continued work to improve the technology that made-long distance calls practical.

Seriously?  I have to roll that around my brain some more.  Sixteen years is a very long time. Don’t believe me? Try this little mathematical equation:

Take your current age.

Add 16 years.

Write down the total.

Shocking, isn’t it? Now, imagine you have a really great idea. Or an incredible dream. Or an extraordinary goal. (And I surely hope you do!)

Are you willing to stick with it for 16 years?

Or, when the disappointment comes (and you know it will), and the critics arrive (Why are they so loud?), and the world moves on (as it always does), will you move on, too?  Declare it’s too hard, abandon ship and search for something new and shiny and exciting?

Moving toward a goal or pursuing a dream is dirty, messy, no one sees behind the stage work — as we will soon be reminded as we hear the stories and watch the videos of this year’s Olympic athletes.

It’s early in the morning and during the lunch break and late at night, stealing-every-available-minute-work.

It’s pressing forward and trying again when your body is aching and your mind is exhausted and you’re not certain you can even take one more step.

It’s insisting over the objections and pressing in and setting limits to protect the project and asking for more and taking the risk.

It’s embracing the work of the thing . . .
so that one day you can embrace the prize.

It’s worth it.

As Helen Keller said:

Be of good cheer. Do not think of today’s failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow.

You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find joy in overcoming obstacles.

Whatever you are, I insist you hang on to your dream!

Deanna

It’s Not What You Think

Your life’s mission, if you to choose to accept it, is probably not what you think.

It’s not to build monuments to your greatness or amass wealth beyond measure.

It’s not to have a family and leave a legacy.

It’s not to gobble up your 15 minutes of fame or go down in history.

It’s not to win the gold, set the standard, or write a best-selling book.

Your mission is to “be the change you want to see in the world” [Gandhi].

It’s to wage war against an internal struggle of pride, prejudice, disbelief, and self-doubt.

It’s about seeing beyond your own boundaries and limitations.

It’s about celebrating the small victories, being honest, making changes, and having courage.

Last week I had the opportunity to participate in Challenge Day at a local High School. I watched the video, talked with the friend who had invited me to sign-up, and thought I was prepared for the day’s events.

I didn’t have a clue.

We laughed and danced, played and sang, hugged and encouraged, and danced some more.

We got real.

In an impossibly short time, I bonded with students, embraced their dreams, listed to their fears, and celebrated their courage.

And along the way, I changed. In a big way.

I learned we are all connected in ways we couldn’t imagine.  That at our core — regardless of our backgrounds, family situations, race, education, income –we all need the same things: love, acceptance, safety, truth, encouragement, the knowledge that we are not alone.

The Challenge Day organization promotes three fundamental truths:

Notice.
Wake Up!

Choose.
Dream it!

Act.
Do something!

If we will simply take the time to look up from the life we’re living and notice what is going on around us;

if we have the confidence to find common ground, make peace, and heal past hurts;

and if we are willing to take action to ignite a passion for service and leadership and to create a world where everyone feels safe,

we are well on our way to fulfilling our life’s mission.

Today’s the day to stop waiting for someone or something else. It’s your day to create the life of your dreams . . . to use your power in positive ways . . . to be the change.

Whatever you are, notice — choose — act.  Live life 100% today!

Deanna

What elephant?

If I were asked to give what I consider the single most useful bit of advice for all humanity it would be this:

Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life
and when it comes,
hold your head high,
look it squarely in eye and say,
‘I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me.’”
~ Ann Landers

What compels us to run away, hide, avoid the facts, sweep it under the rug, and refuse to acknowledge the enormous elephant in the room, as if ignoring the facts somehow dilutes their power?

Stop acting like that!  Fear can only grow with your permission. Troubles don’t disappear because you refuse to look at them.

Be courageous. Put it on the table, shine the light, open the file,
face life head-on.

Analyze the conditions. Research the information. Ponder the options. Craft a solution. The future is in your hands.

“There is much in the world to make us afraid.

There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid.

~Frederick W. Cropp

Let today be the day you summon your courage and face your troubles because, as André Gide said,  ”there are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.”

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

Terrific — Another Interruption!

Don’t look at it as just another interruption to your life.

Perhaps, it’s an introduction to something amazing that you might have otherwise missed” [Joel Osteen].

Does this sound familiar?  You’re rolling along.  It’s working. You’re in a good place — maybe not princess fairy tale dreams, but good nonetheless. Life is happening. You’re making progress.

Then, without your express written permission or even asking for your opinion, life hands you an interruption. Yikes!

Could be the end of a job, a reshuffle at work, the bottom falls out, friends relocate, clients stop calling, ideas vanish, the washing machine blows up, family members become offended . . . well, you get the picture.

If you were to hand me your list of interruptions, what would I see?

Things that keep you up at night, worrying about the future? Circumstances that make you feel tense during the day, filled with apprehension, fear, or stress? Minor irritations that disrupt your progress? Costly solutions that drain your bank account?

I’ve had lists like that. So, too, has everyone else.

I wonder what would happen if we were to look at the situation from a different perspective?  Instead of becoming annoyed or anxious, what if we were to approach interruption on as an adventure?

The opportunity to learn something new, meet new people, try new experiences.

A path to growth.

An introduction to a life we might have otherwise overlooked.

What would be possible if you were able to look at the interruption with new eyes?

What would your day be like if you were willing to seek out the opportunity that lies hidden in the interruption?

What would your life become if you realized
“the important thing about a problem
is not its solution,
but the strength we gain in finding the solution?”

~ Unknown

Stephen R. Covey said, “The way we see the problem is the problem.”

Maybe it’s time to look at that thing that interrupted your life with new eyes. To view it as an opportunity instead of an obstacle.

Whatever you are, look at your interruptions as introductions to something marvelous!

Deanna

Is it time to turn back?

We all want progress, but if you’re on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive” [C.S. Lewis].

You thought it was what you wanted. All the signs were there.  You did the research. You believed the decision makers. You visualized your success. Your contemplated your achievement.

However, now that you’ve given it your best effort, you realize it’s not what you had thought after all. In fact, sometimes you wonder what in the world was I thinking?

In his book, Secret Formulas of the Wizard of Ads (which I highly recommend), author Roy H. Williams reminds us:

Like all of us, you are spending the minutes, hours, and days of your life in the pursuit of something that you are buying with your very life.

Have you inspected the package? Are you chasing what you really want?

Too many people today are focused on what they think they want without giving a thought to what they don’t want that might come with it.

Think of the little mouse who is focused intently and singularly on achieving the cheese.  He works. He saves. He plots. He plans. He dreams of a life filled with cheese, giving no thought to the “prize” of the trap that comes along with it.

Take a look around. Are you where you want to be, passionate about what you’re doing, living the life you have imagined?

If not, the most progressive and courageous decision you can make might just be to turn back because you’re on the wrong road.

“The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive. At that time, we turn around and say, yes, this is obviously where I was going all along. But it’s also a good idea to try to enjoy the scenery on the detours, because you’ll probably take a few” [Bill Watterson].

Whatever you are, give yourself permission to turn back
if you’re on the wrong road!

Deanna

Like Standing Alone

Courage is not limited to the battlefield or the Indianapolis 500 or bravely catching a thief in your house.

The real tests of courage are much quieter.

They are the inner tests,
like remaining faithful when nobody’s looking,
like enduring pain when the room is empty,
like standing alone when you’re misunderstood.
~Charles Swindoll

I’ve been thinking about this quality we call courage.

How, so many times, it is developed during those quiet times when we are alone. As we  think through the issues, ponder the facts, determine a course of action, and then implement those plans that support our dreams.

How courage is up to us, as individuals. To move forward, despite the fear and criticism that bombards our minds.

I was sitting in a café with a friend recently, enjoying a delightful conversation about our work (his life as a  cinematographer, mine as a writer) when a stranger interrupted our conversation.

This woman proceeded to tell us that she couldn’t help but overhear us. She was interested to know about our professions, asking us all sorts of questions. Then she proceeded to tell us that she had a wonderful idea for a children’s book but simply couldn’t move forward with it. “I don’t know why, perhaps it is a fear of failure,” she said.

Obviously, this woman wasn’t intimidated to approach two complete strangers and begin asking questions. But for some reason, when it came to moving her dream along, she was paralyzed.

My advice for this author would be to spend some time quietly developing the courage to live her dream. To work it out in her heart and mind, so she is able to create her own doors of opportunity and confidently walk through them.

Aesop said that it was easy to be brave from a distance. My response is,
“but who wants to live life from a distance?”

The real fun comes from taking a flying leap into your life, facing the risks and adventures head on, and enjoying the journey (both the good and the not-so-good parts).

Courage is not the absence of fear. “Courage is never letting your actions be influenced by your fears” [Arthur Koestler].

Whatever you are, be willing to act in spite of fear!

Deanna

. . . Or Nothing Can Save You

A great deal of talent is lost to the world for the want of a little courage” [Sydney Smith].

I just finished reading Fables for Our Time by Columbus native,  James Thurber. As you may recall, I referenced this book in a previous posting, asking readers to think about the moral of their personal stories.

Now that I have completed the book, I wanted to share one fable in Thurber’s collection that really spoke to me.  It’s the chapter entitled, “The Hen Who Wouldn’t Fly.”

Not couldn’t. Not physically incapable. Not unable to. Wouldn’t fly.

According to the story, years earlier this speckled hen observed several wild geese encounter an unfortunate end at the hands of hunters.  As a result of that experience, the hen believed that flying was very dangerous. She screamed and squawked, clucked and cut-cutted, and eventually convinced her friends and family that any fowl with any sense would stick to the solid earth.

As a result of her influence, the speckled hen lost nearly all of her family members (and eventually her own life) attempting to cross a busy road (dangerously on foot, rather than safely flying).

Thurber’s moral of the story is this: “Use the wings God gave you, or nothing can save you.” I believe there are a  lot of truths in this statement. Many that have to do with fear handicapping your life and wasting the gifts and talents you have been given.

Aside from the obvious lessons the story contains, I think there is a greater truth present, and it is revealed by Christopher Gardner in The Pursuit of Happyness:

You got a dream, you gotta protect it.

People can’t do something themselves,
they wanna tell you that you can’t do it.

You want something?
Go get it.
Period.

An entire family of chickens was destroyed because one hen, who wouldn’t use her gift of flight, convinced everyone else to not use their gift either.

If you don’t use the gifts you have been given, if you listen to the small minds of others who won’t do it themselves, if you fail to protect your dream, nothing can save you from destroying your future.

However, if you “use your gifts faithfully, they shall be enlarged; practice what you know, and you shall attain to higher knowledge” [Matthew Arnold].

A gift sitting on the shelf, or hanging in the closet, or hidden in the garage is useless. Strengthen your resolve. Dust off your courage. Retrieve your gift. Put it to work and let it shine!

“One of the marks of a gift is to have the courage of it.”
~ Katherine Anne Porter

Whatever you are, have the courage of your gift!

Deanna

What is wrong with you?!

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.

Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
~ George Bernard Shaw

When asked to describe you, words like normal, usual, standard, or common don’t spring to mind.

No, you’re more likely to hear responses including colorful, unusual, curious, unique or different.

You don’t look like others, see the world the same way, or hear the same drummer.

You don’t mind.

Your intent is not to use the same crayons as everyone else.

You like who you are, where you’re doing, the picture you’re painting, the adventure you’re on.

You travel different paths, take different risks, see different opportunities.

Let’s face it . . . you are different.

And while there may be whispers behind your back, or discussions about your plan, or questions about your methods, you understand that “if you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary [Jim Rohn]” and, frankly, ordinary is not an option in your book!

You have problems to conquer, achievements to collect, and a world to change.

Common, ordinary, comfortable, usual methods are ineffective where you are going.

People may question motives, call you selfish, sabotage your efforts, and scratch their heads. So what?

“Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.”
~ Frank Zappa

You can choose to fit in, act reasonably, think “normally,” and make others comfortable — OR, you can decide that blazing your own trail is worth being misunderstood, maligned, and mistreated.

Whatever you are, get out there, be unreasonable, and make some progress!

Deanna

While You’re Waiting . . .

Time is the longest distance between two places.”
~Tennessee Williams

Did you happen to see the story about the teacher from New Hampshire who was awarded her degree the day before she passed away?

Harriet Ames earned a two-year teaching certificate in 1931, but her ultimate goal had been to achieve a Bachelor degree.  She had been taking classes until she retired in 1971 and her health began failing. Recently, the school reviewed her coursework and determined she had enough credits to award the long-sought degree.

Ames was waiting nearly 40 years.

Think about this story for a minute.  Nothing changed during the past four decades; Ames had already fulfilled the requirements to reach her goal. With a little action and perseverance, she could have proudly displayed her framed diploma on a wall in her home.

I know a lot of people who are waiting.  They’ve done the work, made the calls, completed the course work, been patient, diligent, faithful.

Waiting to finish this season of their life.

Waiting for the next big thing.

Waiting to see if the shoe will drop.

Waiting for an answer.

Waiting for the future to come into focus.

Waiting for the check to come in, for the tide to change, the pieces to fall in place, for the opportunity to present itself.

Yes, there is a season to wait  But don’t confuse waiting for something to happen as approval to do nothing.  Waiting is not some “no man’s land.”

What are doing while you’re waiting in the “right now” — the mundane, slogging through the motions, living the day-to-day, fulfilling the obligations life of yours?

Don’t become discouraged. Don’t quit. Don’t turn around and go home.

Keep dreaming. Keep working. Keep the attitude and confidence levels high. Seek out opportunity. Stay calm. Continue to be a person of character. Help others. Remain faithful.

“None of us knows what the next change is going to be,
what unexpected opportunity is just around the corner,
waiting a few months or a few years
to change all the tenor of our lives.”
[Kathleen Norris]

Hang in there.  Be patient. You can get through this season of your life. Your today is not the final answer for your tomorrow. Your future is coming.

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

Prove Them Wrong

Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong.

There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right.

To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage” [Ralph Waldo Emerson].

Things may not have gone like you had planned yesterday.

The bright beginning may have dissolved into a muddy pool of disappointment.

The hopes you had for yourself (or others)  might have crashed and burned.

Maybe, you think to yourself, the critics are right this time.

My dreams were too big.

My plans were too ambitious.

I risked too much.

I should have waited. Chosen the other path.

Selected a different destination. Acted sooner.

Maybe I should throw in the towel. Consider it a loss.

Learn my lesson. Play it safe.

No way — you can’t quit now.
You have what it takes to win!

Persevere through the difficulties.

Ignore the critics.

Have the courage to stay the course!

“Sooner or later you have to make a choice . . . leave behind your passion, your dream — or have the strength to look past all the discouraging faces and look at yourself and know that you have what it takes . . . and you will prove them wrong” [Unknown].

Whatever you are, stay the course!

Deanna