No Longer Take For Granted

Valor is stability, not of legs and arms, but of courage and the soul” [Michel de Montaigne].

Mine is not a military family.  I have never endured the absence of a family member who chose to serve, protect or defend our country.

As a small girl, I vaguely recall my uncle returning from “service” and presenting me with a perfectly sized Chartreuse robe (with impressive gold thread) from Morocco.  But I do not remember our family discussing his mission or celebrating his accomplishments. Or, perhaps they did, outside of a child’s awareness.

In the past, I’ve never quite known how to show my gratitude to our veterans for their service. My appreciative comments seem to be so small compared to the enormity of the sacrifice.

I cannot begin to imagine the road our veterans elected to travel or why they chose to do so.

What compels an individual to put personal needs and desires aside
in order to serve our country?

To leave loved ones a world away?

To be willing to sacrifice everything for people they will never meet?

To create the possibility of a safe future for generations of people who will never know their name?

• Not for the flex time or extended lunch breaks.
• Not for personal gain or notoriety.
• Not for a corner office with a view of the city.
• Not for a fat salary and six-figure bonus package.
• Not for the healthcare or the safe working environment.
• Not for many of the things that beckon us toward an enviable career with an important title.

Today is Veteran’s Day. It is a time to honor those who have served America and her people, engaged the enemy, protected the border, fought for freedom, rejected the convenient, turned away from the conventional, and paid the price.

To all our veterans and their families, I extend a sincere, “Thank you!” America wouldn’t be the great nation she is today without your service.  We are in your debt.

Let us no longer “take for granted the very people that most deserve our gratitude” [Cynthia Ozick].

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

It’s Hunting Season

Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much I dream can I be” [Karen Ravn].

I’m currently attending a two-day staff retreat at Oglebay Resort in West Virginia. Monday was team building; Tuesday is slated for meeting and planning time.

As everyone gathered for our first session, we were handed a list of items we needed to locate for our “photo scavenger hunt.”  As we read over the paper, you could hear groans all around. The space is vast — more than 1,700 acres.

The 10-item list was complicated. One example: In the gardens, locate a “critter” and snap a photo of the entire team singing to it. Another requirement: everyone on the team needed to climb a tree and act out a scene from Romeo and Juliet.

You get the idea. Large areas to search for specific items, lots of effort required.

The last instruction the teams received was to be creative in our approach.

My team embraced creativity!
We questioned.
We imagined.
We created.
We discussed.
We investigated.

(What we didn’t do was trek all over the place, wasting valuable time and energy, in an attempt to find exactly what was written on the list.)

Much to the chagrin of the other teams, we used brains over brawn, got creative with the requirements, discovered new possibilities, and completed the scavenger hunt in about 30 minutes.

We spent the next hour relaxing in rocking chairs on the lodge porch, enjoying the mild Autumn weather, waiting for the other teams to return. Which they eventually did, tired, sweaty, out of breathe, and a bit annoyed with our creative approach to rule interpretation.

All this “hunting” started me thinking about all the things we “hunt” in life.

The perfect Christmas gift. The best price. A government bail-out.

Meaning in life. A fulfilling job — well, in some cases, any job. A piece of advice.

A soul mate. A restored relationship. A day off. A misplaced key.

Love. Peace. Joy.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.  Justice. Kindness.

Health insurance. The fulfillment of a lost dream. More money.

A new idea. An open door.  A boost of confidence.

An answer. New clients. A short-cut. A miracle.

It doesn’t really matter what thing you are hunting.  If you keep searching for it using the same old routine, you’re probably not going to find it. You’ve probably heard one of my favorite quotes by Albert Einstein:

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Maybe what you need is a shot of creativity. Consider what could be. Think about things differently. Try a new approach. Think, as they say, outside of the box. In fact, why don’t you just blow the walls off the box, challenge the rules, break through the barriers, jump over the obstacles, and run full steam ahead yelling, “Catch me if you can!”

Read a different author.  Make a new friend. Ask some unusual questions. Start a blog. Learn a new skill. Paint with a different color. Mix stripes and florals. Develop a “non-traditional” approach.

Take time to imagine the possibility that implementing one new idea could create.

Your goals are within reach.
You might just need to take a different route to get there.

A truly creative person rids him or herself of all self-imposed limitations”  [Gerald Jampolsky].  Interesting to think about it . . . many limitations are self-imposed.  Creativity in thought, action, and approach will help you demolish the restrictions that are keeping you from finding that thing you are seeking.

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

Explore Beyond Limits

To quote my friend, Tim Spurrier, if you are going to do something that hasn’t been done before, you’re going to have to do things that you haven’t done before. (And he should know a thing or two about doing new things. Tim led a team that built a hospital in the Peten Jungle in Guatemala.)

You will have to make the appointments, place the phone calls, write the emails, schedule the meetings, take the risk, ask the questions, question the experts, read the books, travel a new road, read the instructions, request assistance, and learn how to do it.

And many times, explore beyond the limits of conventional wisdom.

And, if the answer is not the one you wanted, you might have to start at the top and do it all again . . . and again . . . and again until you are reach the point where you unveil your masterpiece, silence the critics, and enjoy the success.

Greg and I traveled to Fallingwater this weekend, to visit the famous house built by Frank Lloyd Wright that stretches over a 30-feet waterfall.  Upon its completion, the house instantly became famous, and it captured everyone’s imagination when it was on the cover of Time magazine in 1938.

Falingwater is a masterpiece. Magnificent. Stunning. How a mind can conceive and create a house that doesn’t appear to stand on solid ground is amazing.

Our tour guide explained that Wright was nearly 70 when the Kaufmann family (founders of the famous department store chain) approached him about building their vacation home in southeast Pennsylvania.  In the decade prior to the request, Wright had scarcely designed or built anything. Many people thought his career was over. That he was washed up.

Hobbled by the depression, dried up commissions and a growing reputation as an eccentric clinging to old-fashioned ideas, Wright was struggling in late 1934 when he first met the Kaufmanns.

Over his career, Frank Lloyd Wright built more than 400 structures and designed at least twice that many. More than half of those built came into being after the enormous critical and popular success of Fallingwater when Wright was approaching the age of 70″ [Fallingwater].

Past his prime.  Economy conspiring against him. Old-fashioned ideas. No prospects.  Outdated.  Shoved aside. Expendable. Forgotten. Dwindling bank account. Bleak future.

Sound like anyone you know today?

So easy to sit idly by and become a victim of your circumstances. To point at your past. Blame your present. And give up on your future.

As I was touring the picturesque Fallingwater estate, I felt an energy buzzing around. Here I was, walking around a vision . . . transformed into a reality . . . which revolutionized a future.  All because one man was willing to attempt something that had not been done before.

Not only did Wright refuse to sit by and allow his present circumstances to dictate his future, he seized the opportunity to build something that had not existed before, created his career masterpiece, kick-started his passion, and along the way did many things he had never done before. At nearly 70 years old!

What’s your excuse?

Do you want to do something that you haven’t done before?  Then you need to be willing to do some things you haven’t done before.

Be willing to “explore beyond limits of conventional practice” [Fallingwater]. That’s what Wright did when he drew up the plans for the now famous (but he didn’t know it would change his life at the time), Fallingwater house.

Conventional is boring. It is following the rules established by others. It’s the safe bet.  It’s what makes your friends comfortable.

If you want to do something you haven’t done before, step beyond conventional and into your future that is brimming with possibility. Do something new today.

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

It’s Time to Let Go

The hardest part is what to leave behind . . .

It’s time to let go” [Winnie The Pooh].

On the last page of Success magazine is a list of 10 Actions You Can Take Right Now.  Basically, it’s a brief recap of the how to take the information presented in the publication and put it into action, essentially turning Knowledge into Power.

In the most recent issue, Action Item #8 caught my eye.  It simply stated, ”Forgive You.”

“Nothing can sabotage your life more than not forgiving yourself . . . Make a list of at least three grudges you are carrying toward yourself, and decide today to forgive yourself and leave them in the past.”

I don’t think I’d ever heard it presented quite that way, “carrying a grudge (a feeling of ill will or resentment) against yourself.”

I try to never hold a grudge against another person.  It’s not worth it. Unforgiveness takes too much energy. It wastes your time. It poisons your heart.

I believe that “forgiveness is the economy of the heart . . . it saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits” [Hannah More].

And, yes, I believe all of these things to be true . . . when I consider the actions of others.

But I am not nearly so benevolent with myself. I’m not so quick to overlook my shortcomings.

The relationships that ended poorly.
The harsh comment.
The neglected kindness.
The selfish action.
The thoughtless blunder.
The forgotten promise.
The missed opportunity.

I tend to think about them.  And then think about them some more. Point them out to others. Keep pulling off the scabs so they cannot heal. Believing that I need to do penance to atone for my sins. Why do I do this?

Why would I refuse to extend tolerance, patience, and unforgiveness to myself, when I offer it to others?  Sometimes I am my own worst enemy.

What about you? Are you holding grudges? Are you carrying around resentment toward yourself? Isn’t it time to forgive yourself and move on with your life?

Forgiveness is a decision; it’s not an emotion. When you decide to forgive, your emotions will follow your decisions.

There is no way your spirit is free to show joy, congratulate yourself on your achievements, and celebrate the life you have with your family, if you have not forgiven yourself” [Andy Andrews].

Let go of self-resentment and banish the grudges you hold against yourself so you can free your spirit to live a fulfilling life.

Forgive you. Today.

“Without forgiveness, there’s no future” [Desmond Tutu].

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

Your Future Is Here

The future has a way of arriving unannounced” [George Will].

It’s difficult to believe. Even harder to imagine. But it’s true.

You future is here!

You know that far-off-in-the-distant, one day I’ll get there, that’s why I’m working so hard today future?  Yes, that ONE!  Well, it’s here.

And it might not even seem like it. Could be impossible to recognize, what with all the exceedingly normal activity you have planned for today. But be assured, today is your future.

What do you mean it doesn’t look like what you had imagined? Were you anticipating marching bands, balloons, a parade in your honor?

What? You weren’t ready for the future’s arrival? What were you expecting today to be? Just more of yesterday?

Simone Weil said, “the future is made of the same stuff as the present.”

That may be why it doesn’t look particularly different. And it may also explain why we don’t recognize it. And why we fail to plan for it.

I wonder what would happen if we managed to stop thinking of the future as some fuzzy time far off in the distance happening that will burst on the scene when we least expect it, and begin thinking of the future as tomorrow.

You can sit by and mindlessly go through the motions, waiting for your “some day” to arrive.

You can hold your future hostage through the actions of your past.

You can paralyze the future through unforgiveness, bitterness, and shame.

You can ignore the future — play the part of the grasshopper instead of the ant.

In the end, it doesn’t matter how you treat the future, it’s coming again tomorrow.  The future is not a surprise party given in your honor. It is a creation of your efforts. Each of us is responsible for our own future.

So, the question you must ask yourself is this one:

How are you going to live today,
to create the tomorrow you’re committed to?
~Tony Robbins

See how easy that is?  Change today, impact tomorrow, and create the future you’ve imagined.

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

PS: “Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal” [Wayne Dyer].

I’ve been thinking . . .

“The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking” [Albert Einstein].

I’ve been thinking . . .

About the condition of the world.  And of this country. And of our state. (Today was election day.)

I’ve been reflecting . . .

On the choices I’ve made. And the possibilities around the corner. And the future stretched out ahead of me. (What will my tomorrow look like?)

I’ve been wondering . . .

About my friends who have lost jobs. And those who are about to lose jobs. And wonder what will become of all the unemployed. (Will the jobs ever return?)

I’ve been contemplating . . .

My next steps. Important decisions. If the reward is worth the risk. (Well, I’m already this far into it.)

I’ve been hoping . . .

That the outlook will be brighter. Things will come together. A spectacular intervention will save the day. (When is that white knight arriving?)

I’ve been helping . . .

Those who need encouragement. Friends seeking a new outlook. People who need assistance getting there from here. (Too many folks are stuck.)

I’ve been reading . . .

That I never need to eat alone. That the world doesn’t owe me anything. When at all possible, Orbit the Giant Hairball. (So many books, so little time!)

I’ve been celebrating . . .

New clients for a friend. Birthdays and anniversaries. Amazing opportunities. The start of a new adventure.  (There is good news out there, if you’re willing to look for it.)

I’ve been anticipating . . .

A visit to Fallingwater. The release of a new web site. An upcoming dinner party. (I hope it’s worth the wait!)

I’ve been working . . .

On a new writing project. Reformatting resumes. Cleaning up the flower beds. (It feels good to wake up with a purpose.)

I’ve been planning . . .

Because the day is coming. The opportunity is on the way. My destiny is calling. (I can hear it!)

I’ve been thinking . . .

Well, “as long as you are going to be thinking anyway, THINK BIG” [Donald Trump].

What have you been doing?

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

Human Wrecking Balls

“Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius” [Fulton J. Sheen].

I was flipping through the television channels the other day and saw a commercial for a new show titled, “Human Wrecking Ball.”

During the 30-second spot, I watched as two guys destroyed things (buildings, furniture, gas stations) by kicking with their feet or tearing apart with their hands or just running into them with their bodies. Seriously?  Don’t you find it surprising that we can find corporate sponsors for this type of programming?

Well, the ad started me thinking about all the people I have come across who are literally Human Wrecking Balls.

They take without giving. Knock down your dreams. Trample through your hopes, and leave a path of destruction in their wake.  They are ghastly and dangerous forces that can poison your spirit.

Instead of putting any effort forth to improve their own circumstances, they focus their energy on tearing down others. Their mission is to reduce your life to a pile of rubble smaller than their own pile of trash.

I’m sure you’ve encountered your own brand of Wrecking Balls. They are suspicious, fearful, and jealous and if allowed to hang around, they have a way of influencing everything in their path. Their persistent negativity will sabotage your destiny.

I caution you to be wary of those you grant admittance into your life.  Protect your dreams and hopes until they are strong enough to grow on their own, and you have confidence in their viability.

Always give your best.
Never get discouraged. Never be petty.
Always remember, others may hate you.
But those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them.
And then you destroy yourself.
~ Richard Nixon

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

Just Like Tennis

There has been a lot of talk lately regarding the soon-to-be-released autobiography of tennis superstar Andre Agassi, Open.

I’m not a big fan of tennis, but I do recall Agassi and his mane of hair flying around the court and winning tournaments, and all of the recent media hysteria concerning “shocking revelations” piqued my interest. So, when I had the opportunity to read a pre-release review of the book, I couldn’t resist. (Sadly, I have since come to learn that the hair was fake and some of Agassi’s wins were laced with illegal substances.)

The article contained some interesting quotes, and one comment which I found quite thought-provoking:

“Just like Tennis. The same court on which you suffer your bloodiest defeat can become the scene of your sweetest triumph.”

I started thinking about all the encounters in my life where I have experienced defeat.  Although I earnestly gave my best effort, my best just wasn’t enough to prevail over the opponent. Things didn’t turn out as I had hoped. Circumstances conspired against me.

During times like those, it is so easy to run away and hide in fear, or ignore the loss and pretend it never happened. But if you depend on cowardice or make-believe to deal with disappointment, watch out! Unresolved failure has a way of haunting you until you defeat it.

Winners don’t give up, throw in the towel, or hide in fear. They don’t cry in the corner, wring their hands in despair, or allow panic to paralyze them.

Those who eventually triumph study the confrontation, learn from their participation, and use that knowledge to return to the ring with greater knowledge, confidence, and experience. “If you learn from defeat, you haven’t really lost” [Zig Ziglar].

Don’t let your bloodiest defeat stop you in your tracks.  Get up. Gather your courage. Fight. Fight again. Fight until it becomes your sweetest triumph.

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker.

Failure is delay, not defeat.

It is a temporary detour, not a dead end.

Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing
doing nothing, and being nothing.
~ Dennis Waitley

“In life, it doesn’t matter if you get knocked down, it’s if you get back up that matters” [Unknown]. Keep fighting.  It’s not over until you win . . . or you quit.

Whatever you are, be a good one,

Deanna

You Are The One

They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself [Andy Warhol].

The end of yet another month is upon us. Ten down. Two to go before we welcome 2010.

Love it or hate it, 2009 is nearly over.  Another journey around the sun is coming to an end.

How will you remember this year? For all the amazing things you accomplished, the risks you took, the places you visited, the people you helped?

Or as a terrible, horrible, very bad year? One in which you bummed around, waiting for the headlines to change, the unemployment numbers to rise, and the economy to behave itself?

Will you charge toward the end, building on the momentum you have created?

Or struggle to the finish line, waiting for someone else to develop a plan, provide an answer, and stir up your enthusiasm?

I often wonder who, exactly, we are expecting to arrive and fix our lives.

I’m here to tell you there are no magic beans, the country is fresh out of super heroes, and Robin Hood’s band of Merry Men are nowhere to be found.

You are the one you’ve been waiting for.

If you’re looking for a new start, a practical solution, or a flash of inspiration, look within yourself for the change you seek. Stop relying on others to motivate you to get through the day . . . this week . . . .your life.

“No one saves us but ourselves.
No one can and no one may.
We ourselves must walk the path” [Unknown].

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

On Any Given Day

Ideas can be life-changing. Sometimes all you need to open the door is just one more good idea” [Jim Rohn].

Greg and I are notorious for listening to business leaders, inspirational speakers or books on CD when we travel. I keep a small notebook handy to write down any compelling  phrases or ideas I hear.

One recent quote I heard by John Maxwell, contributor to SUCCESS magazine, was this:

On any given day
you can massively change the direction of your life.

That’s pretty powerful stuff when you think about it. Sometimes, it only takes “one” to set the plan in motion, open the door, make the difference:

One idea.

One introduction.

One response.

One person.

One invitation.

One approval.

One commitment.

One change.

One phone call.

One day . . .

to change your life.

I was having lunch with a friend earlier this week and she mentioned how much she enjoys meeting new people. “It only takes one, you know,” she said.

“One, what, exactly?” I asked, perplexed.

“One person.  It only takes one person to take you from being an orphan to a Queen. And you never know who that person will be. That’s why it is so fun.”

I immediately realized she was talking about the Bible story of Esther. She was right.  One person played a pivotal role in introducing Esther to her destiny.

Our conversation started me thinking about the power of one. Not 100 or 1,000 or 1 million.  Just one.  And the potential one contains, if you’re willing to harness it.

Too often we overlook the opportunity because it appears insignificant. We’re conditioned to believe that unless it is huge and extravagant and over-the-top, it’s meaningless. We avoid the small as we chase after the enormous.  We waste the day hoping for a better next year.

Is today your day?  The day when you discover your “one” which equips you to massively change the direction of your life?

Or are you content to continue waiting for a brighter inspiration, a larger check, a more compelling argument?

Lao Tzu said, ”If  you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.”  I say, “It only takes one turn to change your direction.”

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

PS: Today marks my 150th blog posting. It only took one comment from one friend, “What could it hurt?” to get this thing up and running.  What a difference “one” can make.