Live Gratitude

To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant,
to enact gratitude is generous and noble,
but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven [Johannes A. Gaertner].

Beyond the occasional thank-you note you manage to get in the mail, or the quick, “Thanks!” you utter, are you truly living a life of gratitude?

Running around. Living our lives at an exhausting pace.

Too hectic. Too much. Too little time.

We’re so busy looking for that and building this and trying to squeeze ourselves into the next 60 minutes.

It’s no wonder we scarcely notice the kindness from a stranger, acknowledge the generosity of a friend, or remember the thoughtfulness of a family member as we rush to and fro, trying to meet expectations and deadlines and self-imposed ideals.

Our lives are so busy we need a reminder to be thankful. We have to schedule our gratitude. Fortunately, we have a day set aside just for this purpose. An exit ramp, if you will, from the rat race to a thankful place.

A mandated respite to cherish kindness, honor sacrifices, recall our blessings.

After the traveling and meal preparations and dinner table discussions. When the dishes are cleared away and the left-overs are put away. Let’s not forget that tomorrow is really about pausing to remember, reflect, and reach out.

It’s our opportunity to acknowledge the kindness and generosity, the courage and sacrifice of others. To sincerely appreciate our blessings.

But we need not wait for one day on the calendar to be grateful. We should strive to live a life marked by thanksgiving.

Make it a habit to tell people thank you.

To express your appreciation
sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return.

Truly appreciate those around you,
and you’ll soon find many others around you.

Truly appreciate life,
and you’ll find you have more of it.

~ Ralph Marston

Commit to living a life of gratitude every day. “Take nothing for granted. Train yourself never to put off the word or action for the expression of gratitude” [Albert Schweitzer].

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

Out With The Old

You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest, that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present” [Jan Glidwell].

Tomorrow is garbage day.  The big yellow trucks will begin their rounds in our neighborhood while the skies are still dark. Picking up trash cans from front curbs and driveways, returning empty containers, ready to be filled again during the coming week.

Whether returning from the recycling center with empty containers, or rolling our trash can in from the curb, there is something awesome about getting rid of things that have outlived their usefulness.

Did you hear that after 36 years of publication, J.C. Penney is discontinuing its “big book” catalog? The days of pouring over a telephone sized book for hours are coming to an end. Just another example of “out with the old” [Stylelist].

How do we accumulate all this trash?

I know for certain that none of my friends or neighbors have ever stopped by with a bag of garbage for me. Nor has anyone in my family ever dropped off a gift box filled with trash. No, I wouldn’t put up with anyone purposely polluting my space.  Would you?

Trash sneaks into our homes with beneficial items like groceries and arrives in our mailboxes encasing that must-have item for Fall.  It’s used to transport our  new shoes and hides behind the toys we just purchased.

For some of us, trash is difficult to recognize.  Don’t believe me?  The A&E Network has a series called Hoarders that puts a spotlight on a disorder in which individuals compulsively obtain and keep belongings. Yikes!

My point is this: too often we allow trash to come into our lives and hang around.  It marches in with a colleague’s bad mood, sneaks around with a relative’s persistent ”complaining,” or arrives with a well-meaning friend’s gossip session.

Sometimes, we’re our own worst enemy.  We’re so busy polluting our lives remembering past mistakes, indiscretions, and poor judgments, we can’t see any possibility of a bright future. We keep hoarding the junk, allowing it to overwhelm the promise of something better.

Here’s my advice: take a cue from J.C. Penney. It’s time to stop what isn’t working. Toss out what’s junking up your life and distracting you from your future.

Discard the clothes you haven’t worn in forever. Recycle the newspapers. Throw out your old past. Put down that stuff you’ve been carrying around.

It’s heavy and old and discouraging. It takes up valuable space, depletes your energy,  and hides your future.

Besides, it smells funny and makes you act weird.

Empty your arms of the past so you can embrace the future.  If you want to live a life of purpose,  ”look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror” [Byrd Baggett].

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

Turn a Life Around

We are prone to judge success by the index of our salaries or the size of our automobile rather than by the quality of our service and relationship to humanity” [Martin Luther King, Jr.].

Success is such a fleeting concept. What it means to me, sounds foreign to my neighbor. And what my friend considers success, I might classify as torture!

Houses, addresses, cars, vacations, salaries, collections, hobbies, activities, and name brands.  Why do we consider these to be benchmarks of success and self-importance?

Is it wise to base our value on these “things” that evaporate when Wall Street hiccups?

What about time with family and service to others and a sincere appreciation for the life you live and the gifts you have been given? Why do we tend to overlook their worth and importance?

“A wise person understands that his own happiness must include the happiness of others” [Dennis Weaver]. So, if you find yourself unhappy or unsettled or feeling hopeless and unwanted, my advice would not be to go check your bank account, or look at your car, or spend time with your trophy collection.

I would suggest you take stock of the last time you truly helped someone else. You made a personal connection, offered a kind word, extended a helping hand, freely gave of your time and expertise. Poured into the life of another.

These are the investments that are guaranteed to yield high dividends.

As Leo Buscaglia said,

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Don’t overlook the small acts of kindness.  Especially this week, as we turn our thoughts toward home and family. Set aside unrealistic expectations. Celebrate the moment. Enjoy time with your loved ones. Strive for kindness in your actions, attitude, and conversation. How beautiful is service to humanity that begins at home — at our home — toward those we know the best.

Whatever you are, be a kind one!

Deanna

I Dare You

The headline read, “Renowned climber dies in Himalayas.” I don’t know what drew my attention to a small article at the bottom of the page, tucked in the middle of a recent edition of the Columbus Dispatch.

Above all, he was a supreme climber who moved the boundaries of possible. He had an amazing gift and amazing strength. He was a mountaineering genius whose accomplishments have been admired by the whole world.”  [Comments made about veteran climber Tomaz Humar who was found dead in the Himalayas after he was injured and stranded.]

As I read the account, I wondered if — at the end of his life — this gifted climber felt the risks were worth the payoffs of reaching higher, being among the first to go solo, winning awards, and enjoying international fame.

This news story caused me to reflect. To question my own actions.

How does one know when to take the risk or take a pass?

To jump in the game or sit this one out?

When the next step is one step too far?

When innovation and courage becomes reckless?

I wondered if I may have been too quick to take risks in the past, cheered outlandish bravado instead of properly inspecting liability, treated the future carelessly.  The introspection and questions continued to linger.

Well, as luck would have it, I discovered answers a few days later — in the Sports Section of The Wall Street Journal of all places.

The article, “What’s so great about punting?” related how Coach Belichick was being ridiculed because he had recently made a risky decision which cost his New England Patriots the game to the Indianapolis Colts.

The call in question was to go for the yardage rather than play it safe and punt. The result caused Belichick to be called a fool and pundits declared it the worst coaching decision they had ever seen the coach make.

Hey, I thought, at least my foul-ups aren’t broadcast on television, discussed during post-game shows, and dissected in national newspapers.

But what I found to be most interesting was the research presented later in the article.  According to a recent study, people have an overwhelming tendency to make the supposedly safe choice — to err on the side of caution — even though doing so may lead to worse results.

Players who did something aggressive were more successful
than those who did something offensive.

Subjects made four times as many passive mistakes
as they did aggressive ones.

People embrace caution because of the regret they face
when it doesn’t turn out well for them.

It didn’t work out for Belichick this time.  But what if it had? Research shows that more often then not, the real gamble is playing it safe. Maybe the coach’s decision wasn’t that risky after all.

I realize every risk won’t result in success.  That my decision might be dangerous and uncomfortable, and I may suffer loss. But I also know that I will never reach distant shores if I choose to remain upon the dock, fearing that my little ship of dreams may be dashed upon the rock [F. Bolen].

If mistakes will be made whether I go for it or not, I figure I might as well embrace the risk. Climb to the top and enjoy the view. Push away from the dock and head toward the distant shore. Live the life I’ve imagined.

“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself” [Soren Kierkegaard].

Whatever you are, dare to be a good one!

Deanna

What You Have In Your Heart

It isn’t what you have in your pocket that makes you thankful,
but what you have in your heart” [unknown].

When I hear the phrase, “Making a List” I generally think of Christmas and Santa Claus and good boys and girls and presents and grocery shopping. Thanksgiving doesn’t necessarily spring to mind.

What if we changed things up this year? What if we made lists of those things for which we are thankful, instead of those things we must accomplish or purchase or plan for or fix?

My friend, Melanie, recently posted a challenge on Facebook, “Let’s see how many people can do this. Every day this month until Thanksgiving, think of one thing that you are thankful for, and post it as your status. “Today I am thankful for . . . “ I think Melanie has a great idea!

Right now. This very minute. Stop and think about something for which you are thankful.

You will find the power of gratitude is amazing.  It transforms attitudes and reduces negativity. “It is hard to be negative about your situation when you are thinking about things for which you are grateful.  One of the fastest ways to improve your mood or outlook is to count your blessings” [Kevin Eikenberry].

An attitude of gratitude has the power to transform your world.  ”Gratitude is something of which none of us can give too much. For on the smiles, the thanks we give, our little gestures of appreciation, our neighbors build their philosophy of life” [A. J. Cronin].

Pause and remember.
Make a gratitude list.
Recall the kindness.
Write down the blessing.
Say, “Thank you.”
Be grateful.

Whatever you are, be a good one,

Deanna

20/20

Hindsight provides new eyes” [Wayne Dyer].

Remember that “thing” that happened last week, last month, or last year?

The event that you labeled a disaster, the end, a horrible misfortune?

That situation that you allowed to muddy up the present, color your future, and leave a cloud hanging over your head?

Sometimes, all we need is determination to persevere and a distance from the event for us to see it in a different light . . . “to understand that part a difficult circumstance played in our lives. Hindsight makes so much clear” [Karen Casey].

It might not have seemed like it then. And it might not appear to be now, but in time you may discover that “thing” holds promise, encapsulates an answer, creates possibility — if you allow it to — if you ask the questions, discard the baggage, break the barriers, seek out the potential.

On the other hand, if you prefer to carry around your perceived injustice like a sack of rocks, it will be difficult to fly into your destiny.

Look at the event with new eyes.

Maybe today you can see that “thing” as your saving grace. Your detour away from future trouble. The door to something better. A tool to make you stronger.

“In life’s school of wars, that which does not kill me, makes me stronger”
[Friedrich Nietzsche].

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

Seven Words

God has a plan. Run, Stafon, Run” [Stafon Johnson].

Have you heard the story of the Southern California tailback who suffered a potentially fatal weight room accident when a weight bar crushed his throat?

In an instant last September, Stafon Johnson’s future became doubtful.

The injury tore apart his vocal cords, crushed his trachea, and made it impossible for Johnson to eat or breathe without the assistance of machines. Today, after several surgeries, Johnson is able to breathe on his own and, perhaps his most surprising  accomplishment, is that he has learned to swallow again.

At a news conference over the weekend, the athlete impressed physicians, family members, teammates, and sports fans around the country when he also demonstrated the ability to speak.

In front of news cameras, Johnson shared the last words spoken to him by his late grandfather.

He uttered only seven words.

No louder than a whisper.

But they were powerful.

“God has a plan. Run, Stafon, Run.”

I can’t help but wonder how many evenings, when the sky was dark and discouragement loomed large . . . when the days seemed long and life unfair . . . unable to swallow . . . unable to breathe . . . unable to speak . . . unable to see his future . . .  that Johnson clung to these words.

Johnson’s doctors don’t credit the athlete’s miraculous progress to the surgeries, the impressive hospital system, or the knowledgeable healthcare providers.

Instead, his physician, Dr. Ryan Osborn, and throat specialist Dr. Jason Hamilton are quoted as saying,

“He never put limitations on himself,
and that’s why he’s making great strides.”

“Due to gladiator-type mentality toward his outcome . . .
he has regained the ability to swallow.”

“Will there be any limitations on him?
Those are only going to be set by Stafon.”

In the weeks since the accident, Johnson grabbed onto his courage and fortitude. He rallied his determination, encouraged himself, and was able to breakthrough the limits of convention.

What are you facing today? What limits do you need to demolish? What will it take to encourage yourself to overcome in spite of insurmountable odds?

Maybe, all you need are seven words to keep the momentum alive. To keep you in the game to fight another day.

Stafon’s seven words are:

“God has a plan. Run, Stafon, Run.”

My seven words are:

“She believed she could so she did.”

Maybe your seven words could be:

“My present does not equal my future.”

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

Saddle Up Your Horses

There is one quality which one must possess to win,
and that is definiteness of purpose,
the knowledge of what one wants,
and a burning desire to possess it.”
~ Napoleon Hill

It’s the beginning of the week . . . you’d better come out swinging!

Today is the perfect day to fight battles.

Slay dragons.

Test your courage.

Prove your determination.

Refuse to take “no” for an answer.

Stay in the ring for one more round.

Disregard the buzzer.

Ignore the crowds.

Keep fighting until you are victorious.

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.  I don’t believe in circumstances.  The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them“ [G. B. Shaw].

Today is your day to make history!

Circle this date on your calendar, draw a line in the sand, issue a challenge, sound the battle cry, and saddle up your horses . . . you have an enemy to engage, a giant to face, a battle to win!

Whatever you are, be a victorious one!

Deanna

Nine More Minutes

Life is a succession of moments.

To live each one is to succeed” [Corita Kent].

Of all the great inventions that I have available to me — the computer, Internet, air bags, electricity, automobiles — one that ranks near the top of my “favorites list” (and I am a bit hesitant to admit this) is the snooze button.

That’s right!  That marvel of all marvels that allows you to set your alarm with the best of intentions the night before, and then ignore it in nine-minute intervals the next morning.  Oh, the joy!

Yes, I realize I need to stop sleeping, get out of bed, begin the next segment of my life, move to the starting line, face the day, but right now — the blankets are warm . . . and the bed is comfortable . .  and my eyes are heavy . .  and I am tired . . . and I want more of what I already have.

Can you remind me again in about nine minutes?
Thank you, Mr. Alarm Clock!

And — just like that — I put my life on hold.

I miss so many things when I’m content with –
playing Nintendo standing in the middle of the Grand Canyon,
or eating candy sittin’ at a gourmet feast,
or wading in a puddle when I could be swimming in the ocean,
(or hitting the snooze when I could be living my life)*,
I know the time has come for me to wake up!

From Steven Curtis Chapman’s song, See the Glory
*Italics are mine.

Take a look around. Your life is idling, waiting for you to wake up and start getting started. Stop pressing the snooze button, get off the bench and jump in the game.

Or, you can stay in bed, playing Nintendo, eating candy, waiting for your life to start at some undetermined point in the distant future.

The time to live your life is NOW. Not nine minutes from now.

“If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up” [J.M. Power].

Whatever you are, wake up and be a good one!

Deanna

Not By Accident

As my dad used to say, no one becomes an astronaut by accident” [Keith Ferrazzi].

I really like this quote by Ferrazzi. (And I imagine I would have liked Ferrazzi’s dad.  Seems like quite the practical fellow!)

Where are you?

Who are you?

And what are you doing?

Although I cannot answer these questions for you, I am pretty sure your life isn’t the result of some spontaneous combustion.  There wasn’t some big bang and *poof* suddenly your current set of circumstances materialized.

If you look back, you can see a decision here, point to a selection there, a left turn, a right turn, a “slow merge ahead” that shaped your journey and brought you to today.

Right now.

This point in time you call your life.

Not so happy with it?  Twelve months ago, November 12, 2008, maybe you should have zigged when you zagged.  What?  You didn’t see the signs?  Sorry about that.

Or, maybe you’re thrilled with your life. You saw the signs, made the adjustments, and kept on going.  No sweat. And now, you’re right where you planned to be from the beginning.

A satisfying, fulfilled, meaningful life doesn’t happen by accident. It takes planning, hard work, and diligence.

It represents the self-discipline of letting go of what you want so you can do what needs to be done. The humility of asking for help when you need it. Of acting on principle and being motivated by values.

Of persevering when it would be easier to throw in the towel. Of planning for change instead of reacting to it.

Of chipping away at the obstacles so you can get on with it.

You are advancing toward your destiny — every day, every minute,  every second, through every decision you make.  Every path you travel. Every person you take along with you on the journey.

Choose wisely. Arrival at the destination is not by accident.  In the end, there is only one person to hold accountable . . . and that person is you.

You always do what you want to do.

This is true with every act.

You may say, that you had to do something,
or that you were forced to,
but actually, whatever you do, you do by choice.

Only you have the power to choose for yourself.

~ W. Clement Stone

Whatever you are, choose to be a good one!

Deanna