More Than That

Last night I attended a fundraiser for The Women’s Fund of Central Ohio.  With Diane Keaton on hand to add to the festivities, more than 2,000 women witnessed the tributes and progress made possible by an organization whose purpose is to

• Empower Women & Girls
• Raise Money
• Make Grants
• Educate and Celebrate
• Create an endless cycle of women helping other women

At the top of the evening we were treated to a video of a variety of women sharing about a special person in her life who pushed, inspired, opened doors, paved the way, made it possible, believed in her.  At the end of the video each women revealed the identity of the person they had been describing. Needless to say, it was amazing!

As you might imagine, the tributes were primarily to mothers, with some sisters, and children thrown in. But one tribute, in particular, was especially meaningful. In it, after the speaker shared how this person inspired her, she spoke the person’s name and then said,

“She’s my yoga instructor. But she’s more than that.”

This was my favorite tribute of all. I think because it was to someone who isn’t the obvious choice. A relationship that wasn’t required by a family bond, but discovered by chance.

It was for someone who willingly stepped out of her conventional role and into more than that. And in the process, she changed a life.

This is a lesson for all of us.

Regardless of the titles we wear or the positions we fill, let’s be more than that to the people around us. We should commit to being the inspiration, paving the way, opening the doors, making it possible for them to:

Care more than others think is wise . . .

Risk more than others think is safe . . .

Dream more than others think is practical . . .

Expect more than others think is possible . . .

. . . So that they can live the life they imagine

and one day become “more than that” for another.

Whatever you are, be more than that today!

Deanna

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Write a Story You’re Interested in Living

Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life.

You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.”

~ Anonymous

So, what’s your story?

How did you get where you are today . . . at this point in time . . . with these people?

What path did you take? For some of us, the question should be which paths? Our journey has been anything other than a straight line.  We’ve traveled many roads, experienced a few starts and dead-ends, and several U-turns.

A little messier (but perhaps a bit more interesting) than those who have carried the same map from the beginning.

Who has walked along-side you? Who inspired, challenged, and caused you to question the limitations?

What are the names of those who encouraged you to continue when the journey seemed too long and your ambition was waning?

So, now that you’ve paused to think about your story, what’s planned for future chapters?  Who should be added to your cast of characters? Who will be voted out? Who will stay?  Choose carefully. Consider your options wisely.

For “we all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.”

Who is part of your story?  Who should be?

Whatever you are, write a story you’re interested in living, and fill it with amazing people.

Deanna

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Are Your Pants On Fire?

“A single lie destroys a whole reputation for integrity.”
~ Baltasar Gracian

In the days of old, or so I’m told, one could tell a liar by the fact that his pants were on fire.  Oh, that it were so easy to distinguish between honest men and scoundrels today!

Why do people lie? And why in the world do people lie on behalf of other people? Politicians, plagiarism, manipulation, cheating, lost in the mail, dog ate the homework, affairs, tax fraud, half-truths, out right deception — it’s all so ugly.

Now, I’m of the opinion that life would be more enjoyable if one’s pants were to spontaneously erupt in flames as a result of an untruth — and — there would be a good deal fewer false statements blowing around.

It doesn’t matter who says it, or what it looks like or sounds like, or what it’s wrapped up with, or how often it’s repeated, a lie is still a lie.

On the other hand,

Honesty has a beautiful and refreshing simplicity about it.
No ulterior motives.
No hidden meanings.
An absence of hypocrisy, duplicity, political games, and verbal superficiality.
As honesty and real integrity characterize our lives,
there will be no need to manipulate others.
~ Chuck Swindoll

Why not be truthful today? Break through the fear. Face the facts. Take honesty for a spin. Quit lying to yourself and others. Become a person of character. Stop playing fast and loose with the facts. “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters” [Albert Einstein].

Isn’t your integrity, character, and reputation more important than the perceived convenience and comfort of the untruth you are preparing to speak?

Whatever you are, I hope your pants are not on fire!

Deanna

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Bigger Than Yourself

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”
~ William James

Did you have the chance to catch any of the Olympics over the weekend?  The opening ceremony, with its grandeur and assembly of representatives the world over, always takes my breath away. To see so many hopes and dreams in one location is awe-inspiring.

When I looked over the sea of individuals who rise early, put in long hours, and work late into the night perfecting techniques and strengthening their resolve, I was inspired.

Late last night I watched the first American receive the first gold medal of the competition.  As Hannah Kearney took her place on the top step to receive the medal for placing first in freestyle skiing, as the United States Flag flew and the national anthem played, I was so proud.

And I was reminded at how often the things we do on a regular basis are bigger than ourselves.

As we chase our dreams and slaughter the giants, we inspire confidence in others.

As we break through the brick walls, and leap over the barriers, we are proving that it can be done.

People are watching as you display resilience and courage, ingenuity, and perseverance. When you laugh in the face of adversity, accept the risk, and blaze your own trail, you become a part of something bigger than yourself — a community that says the work and sacrifice are worth it.

Don’t treat this responsibility lightly. Your life matters — no man is an island. Your success might just be the catalyst that starts a chain reaction of belief that winning a gold medal is possible.

The purpose of life is not to be happy – but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all” [Leo Rosten].

Whatever you are, realize what you do matters!

Deanna

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It’s Not What You Think

Your life’s mission, if you to choose to accept it, is probably not what you think.

It’s not to build monuments to your greatness or amass wealth beyond measure.

It’s not to have a family and leave a legacy.

It’s not to gobble up your 15 minutes of fame or go down in history.

It’s not to win the gold, set the standard, or write a best-selling book.

Your mission is to “be the change you want to see in the world” [Gandhi].

It’s to wage war against an internal struggle of pride, prejudice, disbelief, and self-doubt.

It’s about seeing beyond your own boundaries and limitations.

It’s about celebrating the small victories, being honest, making changes, and having courage.

Last week I had the opportunity to participate in Challenge Day at a local High School. I watched the video, talked with the friend who had invited me to sign-up, and thought I was prepared for the day’s events.

I didn’t have a clue.

We laughed and danced, played and sang, hugged and encouraged, and danced some more.

We got real.

In an impossibly short time, I bonded with students, embraced their dreams, listed to their fears, and celebrated their courage.

And along the way, I changed. In a big way.

I learned we are all connected in ways we couldn’t imagine.  That at our core — regardless of our backgrounds, family situations, race, education, income –we all need the same things: love, acceptance, safety, truth, encouragement, the knowledge that we are not alone.

The Challenge Day organization promotes three fundamental truths:

Notice.
Wake Up!

Choose.
Dream it!

Act.
Do something!

If we will simply take the time to look up from the life we’re living and notice what is going on around us;

if we have the confidence to find common ground, make peace, and heal past hurts;

and if we are willing to take action to ignite a passion for service and leadership and to create a world where everyone feels safe,

we are well on our way to fulfilling our life’s mission.

Today’s the day to stop waiting for someone or something else. It’s your day to create the life of your dreams . . . to use your power in positive ways . . . to be the change.

Whatever you are, notice — choose — act.  Live life 100% today!

Deanna

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What’s Your Sign?

What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself” [Abraham Lincoln].

In my neighborhood, there are three churches on the same street. Although I have never set foot inside any of them, I’m sure each of these buildings are filled with loving, kind, devoted followers. I would imagine it is also safe to speculate that all the churches embrace similar goals (impact the community, increase membership, promote God, etc.).

Regardless of how similar these churches appear, they are quite different in their approach and methodology. Here’s how I know: during the past week, the following messages appeared on their signs, advertising upcoming sermons:

Church #1: Come to me all who are weary and burdened.
(Conventional message. Probably safe, but boring.)

Church #2: God’s Holy Wrath
(Holy Smokes — literally! I wonder how many new members will visit?)

Church #3: Everyone is Naked Underneath Their Clothes
(These people have a sense of humor; they must like what they do. I’d stop by.)

I found the odd collection of phrases to be quite humorous. While the intent of the ministers was to make a positive impact, their signs were not equally successful in communicating the message.

And, well, this started me thinking about the signs we carry around everyday — the ones we use to announce our attitudes and communicate our thoughts. Even though we don’t actually carry around pieces of cardboard with words on them, our signs are quite evident; people read them loud and clear!

Here are several signs I have “read” recently. Any sound familiar?

• Why doesn’t anyone appreciate me?”
• “How can I help?”
• “Look at Me! I’m very important.”
• “You’re not part of our group.”
• “I don’t really care what you had planned.”
• “Thank you for (finally) leaving.”
• “We’re glad you’re here!”
• “I value your input.”
• “Your ideas are insignificant.”
• “I’m grumpy. Stay out of my way.”

Think about this important truth: Perception is Reality. The perception you create through your actions — the manner in which people perceive you — becomes their reality. Your intent may be one thing, but the message you display is the real thing.

You may honestly believe people are important. But if you fail to return phone calls in a timely manner, regularly speak in a critical tone, or constantly run late for appointments, you are writing a different message. One that says,”You are irrelevant.”

You may have the best of intentions, but if your message is misinterpreted because of your actions, you’re in trouble and your effectiveness is compromised. As Mark Twain said, “What you are shouts so loudly in my ears that I can’t hear what you are saying.” Talk about miscommunication!

So, what does your sign say? If you don’t like the message, the good news is that our signs are easily erasable. We have the ability to update the message instantly by changing our actions and readjusting our attitude.

Ian Percy said that “we judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions.” Don’t forget that others are reading our signs and using that same standard to judge us right back.

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

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Under the Influence

You don’t have to be a “person of influence” to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they’ve taught me” [Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert].

The clerk at the drive-thru window who offers a cheerful greeting influences. So does the rude driver who cuts you off in traffic. Movie stars influence through their wardrobe choices, and film makers by their subject matter. Politicians influence with hopeful promises, while traffic cops influence by parking on the side of the road.

We’re influenced by the weather forecast, the headlines, Sunday’s sermon, a careless comment by an acquaintance, an encouraging word from a friend. The number of messages in our In-box, a call from an angry client, terrific customer service, attention to detail, an unexpected delivery, and the mood of our colleagues influence us in one way or another.

“We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere” [unknown].

Every day you influence others through your actions and reactions.
Every . . . single . . . day.

And I’m not just talking about the email you send to your congressmen, or raising funds to combat a deadly disease. Although these are great opportunities to influence, there is so much more to it than the “big ticket items.”

“Because everything we say and do is the length and shadow of our own souls, our influence is determined by the quality of our being” [Dale E. Turner]

The way you live your life, conduct your affairs, celebrate the joys, confront the challenges, and communicate with others, is a compelling force on the actions, behaviors, and opinions of those around you [dictionary.com]. And not only those around you. With information circling your community, state, nation, and globe in a matter of seconds, your scope of influence extends to people you have never even met. (Think about that for a minute!)

Your ability to influence is a powerful force. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Who shall set a limit to the influence of a human being?”

So, I encourage you to use your powers for good, not for evil. When you stand up straight, do the right thing, offer a positive greeting, keep your word, act respectfully, take the high road, put in the extra effort, complain less, and make people feel good about themselves, you are influencing.

“Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means” [Albert Einstein].

I really like what Roy Croft said, “I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.” Shouldn’t this be our ultimate goal? That our lives create an environment that cultivates a sense of confidence , empowerment, and purpose in others?

Not only should we be mindful of the influence we have, it is also important to be cautious about who and what we are allowing to influence us. “Be around the people you want to be like, because you will be like the people you are around” [Sean Reichle].

No matter who you are or what you do, you’ll never learn a more valuable or important set of principles or skills. Once you tap into the power of influence, you can reach out and help others work smarter, grow faster, live, look, and feel better, even save lives. The sky is the limit . . . for an Influencer” [Influencer: The Power to Change Anything].

Booker T. Washington said, “There is no power on earth that can neutralize the influence of a high, simple and useful life”

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

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